I know the exact moment that I decided I wasn't good enough.

I was standing at the bottom of the stairs wearing stonewash jeans and an awful green shell suit jacket (apparently they were fashionable back then). I was 5 years old. My dad was standing in the doorway of our open front door, suitcase in hand. I was crying, my mum was crying, I think my brother was crying. And I had no idea why.

I don't remember the exact words he said but let's just say that he was leaving and he wouldn't be coming back. I was confused and sad and assumed, in my 5 year old mind, that I must have done something wrong. That I'd been bad and that was why my dad didn't want to stick around. Maybe if I'd listened better, or slept in longer or picked my Care Bears up from the floor.

Whatever I'd done it hadn't been enough.

What I wouldn't know until much, much later was that the decision I made that day at the bottom of the stairs impacted so much of my life into my early 30s. So many situations, events, decisions and choices.

It went with me into school where I was bullied for 3 whole years because I was short and wore glasses and got good grades (so stood out like a sore thumb). I went from loving school and having really close friends to dreading it every day, crying in the toilets and feeling incredibly alone.

What did I decide? That I wasn't enough. I wasn't popular enough, pretty enough or cool enough.

It went with me into relationships. Guys would break up with me because I wasn't thin enough, one would cheat on me because I wasn't sexy enough.

It went with me into jobs. Where I was passed up for promotions because I wasn't assertive enough. I wouldn't speak up in meetings because I wasn't confident enough.

I even qualified as a lawyer because everyone kept telling me it would be a great job and I thought finally I'll have something I feel awesome about and I'll feel good enough! But I was never meant to do it. It didn't fill me with any passion or enthusiasm and I was bullied by colleagues too because I wasn't good enough...

And it went with me into motherhood. I gave birth to the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful little girl who fills my heart with joy every single day but in the first few months of her life I felt like a failure regularly. Because the birth hadn't gone as planned, because I wasn't able to breastfeed, because I wasn't able to hold her the moment she was born because I was so out of it. And because I didn't get the overwhelming surge of love the minute she was born that the movies tell you about and instead didn't feel it until two days later. If you're a mum then I'm sure you've felt it #mumguilt

But February 2016 was when things started to change. By now, I was working as a Lawyer in a job I hated, under a mountain of credit card debt (22k at it's worst), living in a tiny flat with my hubby and beautiful baby. I was grateful for my family but I knew there must be more. I'd been trying to build businesses for 10 years at this point because I was so desperate to get out of that job but I hadn't seen any success with any of them (because I wasn't good enough or deserving enough of course). I probably made about £1000 the entire 10 years in my businesses.

I knew something had to change. There had to be another way. If other people could make it work surely I could too?!

It was then that I discovered The Law of Attraction and the idea that what you focus on you attract. I was slightly fascinated by this concept but I thought it was a complete load of woo woo, a bit 'magic and miracles' and couldn't really see how just by declaring to the Universe that I was rich that all this money was going to land in my lap. I needed more. I have quite a logical brain and I needed to know WHY this worked.

So I started to study the Brain. I trained in Neuroscience and Neuroplasticity, alongside my Law of Attraction Practitioner Course and Life Coaching Course. Once I understood how our brains work, how our beliefs are formed and why we have certain fears, what stops us from taking action and where that pesky comfort zone comes from, but also exactly how to overcome all of that, why focusing on things like gratitude, affirmations, journaling and Vision Boards and implementing the concept of the Law of Attraction.... EVERYTHING changed.

It was just a year later that I left that Law job because I was making more in my business than I was in my job, I tripled my income one month later, 2 months after that I moved us out of that tiny apartment into a beautiful detached 3 bedroom home, in 2018 I was flown to the States twice and put up in 5* hotels to coach and speak at events, I published my Book in 2019 and I've been hired by 6 seven and eight figure business owners to coach their clients through their programs, generating over 3 quarters of a million in sales and helping them have multiple 6 figure events.

I now do something that lights me up every day and the best part? I get to inspire others that they CAN be, do and have whatever they want. There are no limitations other than those we put upon ourselves.

I provide a powerhouse combination of the 'practical' and the 'woo' to teach other female business owners exactly how they can get the life they want AND deserve.

And I'm beyond grateful 💖

Gemma
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